July 5, 2020: I bought a bike!

It's around 10pm. I'm in bed, still wearing jeans and sweaty socks. 

I bought a bike! It's a 2016 Triumph Bonneville. I had incredible luck. The bike only had 28 miles! twenty-eight! The original owner bought it in 2017 and slid it into a ditch and broke a few ribs (before 28 miles.) It was $5500. The blue book price for this bike with "normal usage" was $6500. I think he could have sold it for 7,000 to $8,000.

Riding season is just starting. I could probably flip this bike in a week or two and make a $1000 after taxes. But that will absolutely not happen.

My goodness. This happened much quicker and much better than I thought it might. All this thing needs is an oil change. I think I'll have to head up to Bellingham soon once the oil is taken care of. 

...

I could see that the previous owner was scared of the bike. It bit him. Hard. He said he was out for six months. His body language was showing Kris and I that he was afraid of the bike. He was hesitant just to get it started. 

It's not a light bike. It's intimidating. 

My quasi-poetic imagination shows me a picture of an eager black horse. I get these kinds of pictures when I deal with something that has been invested with attention/libido/etc. 

Despite the danger, despite the risk, I have a good feeling.

Here's a pic of me. 

...

I'm trying to wind down. It has been quite the day. I picked up Jung's Symbols of Transformation that has been sitting by my bed for a few months now. I've read it intermittently. As I picked up the physical copy of the book, some thoughts that had been developing came to mind. It's rather simple actually. But it's one of those things that is surprisingly profound. 

In this book Jung talks about the Hero Cycle/Hero's Journey. Joseph Campbell took this, repackaged it nicely, and made a fortune off of it. Many long stories short: The hero confronts an enemy that defeats him, as if it were fate, but then the hero wins in the end, usually after the darkest moment when he has been swallowed by the beast. Sometimes the hero loses.

Basically the sun sets, and then it comes back again, automagically; unless it doesn't. 

Automagically is the key word here.

Just like how the sun rises, order is made from chaos. How? Well, there might be a satisfying, worry-canceling principle, like how Newton explains how the sun rises using the law of gravity. However, many people (read: definitely me) worry about things without satisfying answers.

By spending time with this worry, I have come closer to something profound. It's a mystery, really: within my life and within my mind, things have fallen apart, but then they have come back together again in meaningful way. (Meaning is the key word.)

I can't say whether this ordering/organizing force is neutral, negative, or positive. But I have experienced it as Good, as in capital G, Greek, Good. Or at least excellent/arete.

My point is that order comes from chaos, maybe not all chaos, but at least it comes from certain types of chaos. And I don't think anyone really understands the deepest principle by which that happens. It's a mystery. But I think we're all capable of coming up with our own theories—our own relationships to reality, we might say.